The topic of declining common courtesy and polite communication has certainly been a prevalent discussion among professionals and the general public in recent times. There is a growing consensus that since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, a notable shift has occurred in the way many people interact with one another, with a marked increase in defensive, rude, and discourteous behavior. While it's understandable that the stresses and uncertainties of the past few years have taken a toll on everyone's mental and emotional wellbeing, that reality does not excuse the all-too-common displays of impatience, short-temperedness, and blatant disrespect that have become disturbingly commonplace in our daily lives. There is a pervasive sense that civility, empathy, and basic manners have taken a backseat to self-absorption and a hair-trigger defensiveness. This is not to say that every interaction is now fraught with rudeness, there are certainly still many people who strive to maintain composure, consideration, and courtesy in their dealings with others. However, the sheer volume of stories, and first-hand experiences of flagrant incivility has led to a widespread sense of desire to understand how address and respond to this troubling social trend.

Turn Down the Heat – At the heart of this issue lies the simple truth that people's emotions, can often cloud their judgment and lead them to lash out in ways that are disproportionate to the actual situation at hand. As the representative of a business or organization, it is crucial to remember that you have a significant amount of control over how these interactions will unfold. By maintaining a calm, professional demeanor in the face of rudeness or unreasonable behavior, you set the tone and have the power to de-escalate the situation rather than match the individual's hostility. This is no easy feat, however responding with empathy, patience and a solution-oriented mindset can transform a tense interaction into a positive experience - not only for the individual, but for yourself as well. After all, the way you handle difficult situations speaks volumes about your character and the values of the organization you represent. Mastering the art of grace under pressure is an invaluable skill that will serve you well, no matter how much the prevalence of angry individual s may ebb and flow over time.

Caitlin Lyons, Communications Manager at The Philadelphian Condominium in Philadelphia says “Conflict Resolution requires a healthy emotional atmosphere can really help facilitate open communication. When I am dealing with someone who is overwhelmed and has clearly reached a breaking point how they are attempting to communicate with me, I have found majority of the time it is because they have built up frustration about not feeling heard. My answer to this is listening. When people genuinely listen to each other, we create a safe space for open communication, allowing everyone to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This really helps to uncover the underlying issues at the root of the conflict, moving beyond the surface-level chatter. Listening demonstrates respect and acknowledgment of differing perspectives, which can diffuse tension and open an avenue for collaborative problem-solving. Ultimately, you're building trust and showing that you care about the relationship and switching the think to promote a same-team/one-community mindset. “

Set Reasonable Expectations - It's all about finding the balance between being responsive and setting appropriate limits, so that you can continue providing excellent service without compromising your own wellbeing. Transparency and clear communication are essential for maintaining trust and positive relationships between the community, the management team, and the Board of Directors.

For example, having a reputation for prompt responses can be a double-edged sword. While it may earn you praise and gratitude from community members and business partners who appreciate your responsiveness, it can also set unrealistic expectations that are difficult to maintain in the long run. As someone who prides themselves on getting back to people quickly, you've likely cultivated a sense of trust and reliability - people know that when they reach out to you, they can count on a timely reply. However, the downside to this is that even a brief delay in your response can cause those same people to grow impatient and frustrated. This is when it becomes necessary to set some reasonable expectations such as advising your contacts that while you always strive to reply as quickly as possible, you do have a specified response requirement (such as 24-hours) that they should keep in mind. This way, you can maintain your reputation for being attentive and reliable, while also ensuring that you don't burn yourself out trying to meet unrealistic demands.

Another example is setting expected response timeframes when you are awaiting direction or decision from a Board of Directors. Let contacts know that the Board is composed of volunteers who meet on a periodic basis, rather than being available for immediate consultation. By clearly communicating this structure, you can help to set reasonable expectations around the timeline for when they can expect to receive feedback or a final decision. Emphasizing that the Board members donate their time and expertise voluntarily can foster understanding, as it may help them recognize the constraints and competing priorities that the Board faces. Furthermore, proactively informing them that you may need to wait until the next scheduled Board meeting before being able to provide a full response can help to manage their anticipation and avoid frustration.

Setting Boundaries – It's a frustrating experience to encounter individuals who are simply determined to remain displeased and unsatisfied, no matter how much effort we put into communicating effectively. In these situations, we have no choice but to firmly establish boundaries, sometimes silently and other times more overtly. One effective approach is to pause and delay our responses when faced with someone who is barraging us with a flurry of heated emails in an attempt to perpetuate their tirade. By scheduling our replies to be sent an hour later, we allow that person time to cool down and reflect, rather than simply reacting out of raw emotion. This small delay maintains the timeliness of our communication, but gives the other party space to collect their thoughts and potentially reconsider the tone and content of what they plan to say next.

Don’t let them make you sweat - For individuals who are truly crossing the line, whether through aggressive phone calls or abusive emails, we may need to take a stronger stance. In these cases, it's important to directly inform them that we will not be engaging further until they are able to communicate in a civil and constructive manner. We must make it clear that our role is to assist them, not to serve as an emotional punching bag for their frustrations. For hostile phone interactions, taking the additional step of stating you will be disconnecting the call, and insisting that all future communication be documented in writing can be a powerful way to shift the dynamic and compel the other party to be more accountable for their behavior. By setting these firm boundaries, we assert our own right to be treated with respect, while also creating an opportunity for the other person to recalibrate their approach and hopefully engage more productively.

Dealing with heated and aggressive individuals in person can pose even more of a challenge than navigating tense situations over the phone or via email. While it may be easier to maintain a calm, controlled demeanor when communicating remotely, the added element of physical presence and nonverbal cues in face-to-face interactions can make these confrontations much more difficult to manage effectively. When someone approaches you visibly upset or frustrated, it is crucial to greet them with a warm, empathetic smile, let them know you understand they are feeling that way, and assure them that you will do your absolute best to help resolve whatever issue they are facing. This compassionate yet firm approach can help de-escalate the situation and open the door for productive problem-solving. However, on rare occasions, an individual may become more aggressively confrontational than you feel equipped to handle. In these tense moments, it is essential to maintain your composure, stand up from your seat to assert your authority, and firmly inform the person that their behavior is unacceptable and that they need to remove themselves from the office until they can conduct themselves appropriately. If they refuse to comply and continue to escalate the situation, do not hesitate to bring in another colleague or reach out to security or the police for assistance. Under no circumstances should you ever allow someone to make you feel unsafe or intimidated in a professional setting - your personal wellbeing and the integrity of the workplace must take precedence. Navigating these highly charged interpersonal conflicts requires a delicate balance of empathy, assertiveness, and an unwavering commitment to maintaining a secure, respectful environment.

In Conclusion – As with anything in life, there is no magical solution to solve all your issues, especially when dealing with people. The reality is that navigating the complexities of human interactions and relationships requires a multi-faceted approach, with no single panacea that can be universally applied. However, by cultivating and consistently practicing effective communication skills, coupled with a spirit of transparency and even a healthy dose of constructive bluntness when appropriate, these types of challenging situations can become much less of a source of undue stress and anxiety. The key is for individuals to take personal responsibility for how they choose to manage and guide their interactions, as this helps to set the overall tone and trajectory. When people make a concerted effort to communicate clearly, openly, and with a certain level of forthright honesty, it empowers them to work through problems in a more productive, solution-oriented manner. This proactive mindset, in turn, minimizes the likelihood of interactions devolving into unproductive conflicts or leaving lingering resentments. While there will always be some interpersonal challenges that defy simple resolutions, adopting this mindset of personal accountability and direct yet diplomatic communication can go a long way toward making these types of situations much more manageable and ultimately less burdensome.